She Loves Me Not?
by Fuffy Forever
Summary: Buffy told Faith she loved her but the morning after things are not so simple...please leave reviews :) This story takes place after season 7. RE EDITED AND FORMATTED 3
1. Chapter 1

She Loves me Not?

Buffy slowly opened her eyes but quickly closed them again as she felt the room spinning around her. The smell of alcohol lingered in the air. Buffy gagged slightly. How much did she drink last night? Why did she get herself in such a state? What even happened after she...kissed Faith. "Oh god" Buffy said out loud. She didn't remember anything after that. Too distracted by her own thoughts she didn't notice she was naked and the brunette slayer she had kissed was lying right beside her, also naked.

Buffy swallowed hard as she felt an arm around her. Buffy didn't dare move. Is that Faith lying beside me? Or did I get lucky with some random guy? That would explain the whole me being naked. Buffy thought to herself. Buffy shuddered as she felt soft gentle kisses at the back of her neck. She moaned slightly and smiled. The lips were so soft and gentle against her skin.

"Morning B" Buffy heard from behind her. She froze not knowing what to say or do. "Wow that was some night huh?"It was Faith! Buffy tried to speak but the words wouldn't come out. Faith ran her hand up to Buffy's breast and giggled. "What's the matter B you haven't gone all shy on me have you?"

Buffy suddenly bolted up in bed facing the dark slayer and covered herself with the duvet. "What...when did...Faith what the hell happened last night?" Faith smiled but once she saw the look of fear in Buffy's eyes her smiled faded. "Isn't it obvious?" Faith reached out to touch Buffy but the shaken up slayer moved away from her. "Don't touch me!" Buffy yelled. Faith was taken back. Had Buffy forgotten their whole night together? What she had told Faith? Faith reached out for a glass of water beside the bed and threw it back. She turned back to Buffy. "Faith? What the hell did you do to me? Did you drug me or summet? Is that how you get off?"

Faith was hurt. "Is that what you think of me?" she spat back. Buffy didn't respond and looked down. "Gee B...I really thought"...Faith couldn't talk. Buffy turned her head slightly and looked at Faith. "You thought what Faith?" Faith clenched her fists as she spoke. "You told me last night...you said... you...Buffy you told me you love me!"

Buffy looked up at the brunette slayer who had got out of the bed and was dressing herself in the far corner of the room. "What? Faith why the hell would I...Faith are you sure? You could have misheard me or something?"

Faith flashed the slayer a glare as she lit a cigarette. "I may have been drunk B but I know what I heard! In fact... I remember our whole night together! We were at the bar and you told me you loved me, you kissed me"...Faith paused and smiled as she got a flashback of the kiss. "And then well...lets just say we didn't get much sleep last night. Faith raised her eyebrows to Buffy who was frantically looking for her clothes. Faith watched her as she got herself dressed. "I cant believe you think I...how did you put it? Drugged you! Buffy I may have done some fucked up shit but...She paused and walked over to Buffy placing her hand on Buffys face. ….I would never hurt you B I love...Buffy backed away. "Don't...don't you dare say it! Buffy spat.

Faith pulled the slayer towards her and tried to kiss her but Buffy pushed her away. "What the hell is wrong with you?" Buffy screamed at Faith.

"What's wrong with me? What the hell is wrong with you B? You just gonna walk away from this? Us?"

Buffy gritted her teeth. "Us? Faith there is no us! There will never an us!

Faith's eyes filled with tears. She turned away from Buffy. Buffy continued looking at Faith.

"Look Faith...last night we were drunk...we kissed but you have to understand Faith it was just a kiss and..."

Faith turned around to look at Buffy. "No Buffy it wasn't just a kiss ! You told me you love me, how you have wanted me since the day we met..." Faith began raising her voice as she spoke. Buffy suddenly punched the dark slayer knocking her to the floor. "Your lying!" Buffy stood over Faith. "I could never love you Faith" Faith sat up and pulled the blonde slayer to the floor to face her. She gripped her arms tight and pulled her in close. "What do I have to do to prove it to you B?" Buffy lifted her head up slightly, her eyes filled with fear as she felt Faith gripping her even tighter. "How about I refresh your memory?" she said.

Before Buffy could respond Faith moved in to kiss her. Buffy pulled away with force. "No! How about I refresh yours Faith? I'm not...gay. Faith laughed. "You didn't seem to take issue of that last night!" Buffy looked down at the floor. "Faith...whatever we did...when we...it cant happen again ok? It was a mistake. I don't even know how we"...Buffy looked repulsed as she spoke. Faith loosened her grip and pulled herself and Buffy up. "Faith...I'm sor"... "Don't B...just don't" Faith interrupted her. Buffy sighed. "Faith I know your upset but..."

Faith walked away from Buffy and made her way to the bedroom window looking towards the outside. "You have no clue how I feel B...I finally opened up to you after all these years...I...know you love me Buffy I can see it, so if anyone is lying...its you. She tuned back to face Buffy. Buffy looked at the brunette who had tears running down her face.

Buffy shook her head. "No Faith!" Faith wiped her tears and rolled her eyes. She hated crying. Showing any type of weakness. Buffy made her way to the bedroom door and turned to Faith. "I don't love you...I...I don't know what happened last night but...Buffy suddenly stopped talking, she remained silent for a moment. Drinking at the bar~2 Jds~her hand on Faiths leg~a kiss...i love you Faith. Flashbacks of the night before.

Buffy's eyes widened. Faith looked at Buffy confused. "B"?

Buffy didn't respond.

She looked at Faith for a few seconds and left the room slamming the door behind her.


	2. Chapter 2

Buffy made her way downstairs. She was pretty shaken up at what she had just remembered from the night before. Do I really love Faith? Or was it the booze talking? Buffy thought to herself. Buffy couldn't be in the same house as Faith at the moment. She grabbed her coat and made her way out the door.

"Going somewhere B?" Buffy turned around to see Faith stood at the bottom of the stairs.

"I need some fresh air" Buffy lied.

Faith looked up and down at the blond slayer and smiled. "You seem elsewhere. What was all that about upstairs you looked freaked did you...?

"I've gotta go Faith...I...we...Talk later" Buffy couldn't get out to the house fast enough.

Faith sighed and rolled her eyes. What was going on in Buffy's head? Was she lying about how she felt? She couldn't have forgotten a whole night with Faith. Faith walked into the kitchen and made herself a cup of coffee. As she slowly sipped it she thought back to the night before.

~Soft kisses~A sweet scent of coconut and raspberry~The feel of her touch~Sweat dripping from their bodies~The blonde slayer's moans against Faiths ear as she reached climax~

Suddenly the mug Faith was holding shattered due to the force of her grip. She screamed as hot coffee scolded her hand. She ran the cold tap and ran her hand underneath it. She then cleaned up the broken pieces of the mug. Buffy had really got to her. Badly. Faith knew what would calm her down. She made her way to the training room. Faith trained for so long she ended up passing out. As she awoke she looked outside. It was getting dark. Faith knew she should patrol but she also knew Buffy would have the same idea. She splashed her face with ice cold water and threw back a glass of Jack Daniels before leaving the house.

Making her way through the St Peters graveyard Buffy stopped in her tracks as she gained another flashback from the night before.

~Faith pushing her against the door~ The sweet taste and smell of cinnamon~Faith touching her~Faith gently biting on her lip~Faith picking her up and wrapping her legs around her waist.

Buffy was suddenly alert when she heard footsteps behind her. Without hesitation she turned around with her stake ready to attack. It wasn't a vampire. It was Faith. Grabbing Buffys wrist holding the stake Faith raised her eyebrows. "Think I should take that before you end up hurting someone" she said. Buffy stepped back and watched Faith as she lit a cigarette.

"What are doing here?" Buffy asked.

"My job, you should be more careful with this" Faith replied passing the stake back to Buffy. As Buffy took the stake her hand touched Faith's. The blonde slayer swallowed hard as she could feel her heart beating faster. The slightest touch was setting her off. What was this? Was she really in love with Faith? Why had she not felt this strong before?

Faith waved her hand in-front of Buffy's face. "Hey, anyone home?" Buffy shook off her thoughts and looked at Faith and into them beautiful brown eyes looking back at her and felt butterflies in her stomach. "Yeah...erm we should...er..." Buffy couldn't get her words out.

"Patrol?"Faith finished off for her. Buffy turned away from Faith.

"Yeah patrol...patrol" Buffy walked ahead and Faith followed.

After a few minutes of awkward silence Faith spoke. "You don't seem yourself B" Faith sounded concerned. Buffy looked down and said nothing. "Ok...you don't wanna talk about it. She then put her arm out and pulled Buffy closer to her. Buffy shuddered from Faith's touch. "Please give me something, anything. When you left this morning I could see something in your eyes. What was that B?" Buffy was just about to answer her when she saw a vampire behind Faith.

"Er Faith" Buffy nodded her head towards the vampire. Faith turned around and threw a punch sending him to the floor and grabbed Buffy's stake. As he was about to get up from the ground Faith had already staked him and he dusted instantly.

Faith smiled giving the stake back to Buffy. "So you were saying?" Faith asked Buffy who began walking in-front again.

"Oh...nothing I...I don't have anything to say...do you? Cause I don't...and even if I did...which I don't..." Buffy rambled.

"Gee B chill" Faith smiled as the blonde slayer turned to face her looking embarrassed at her outburst.

"Faith I...god I cant do this!" Buffy turned to walk away but Faith pulled her back.

"Do what?" Faith questioned.

Buffy couldn't keep eye contact with the dark slayer she could feel herself wanting to kiss her, touch her, feel her. "This...it isn't right...I..."Faith suddenly grabbed Buffy and pulled her in for a passionate kiss. Buffy responded for a second but then pulled away, she looked at Faith for a moment. "This...us it stops right now Faith! Do you understand?" Faith looked at Buffy she was shaking. She didn't mean what she saying. What wasn't she not saying? Is she scared about how she feels?

Faith nodded at Buffy. "Sure B whatever and there's a vampire behind you" Faith said casually. Buffy hesitated for too long and as she turned the vampire knocked her to the floor.

Buffy narrowed her eyes at Faith. "Thanks" she replied sarcastically.

"Oh your welcome" Faith flashed a wicked smile at Buffy. Buffy kicked out at the vampire and picked herself up from the floor. She then punched him multiple times sending the vampire to the floor, she was about to to stake him but the stake was knocked out of her hand as the vampire kicked it. He then threw Buffy to the ground and sank his teeth into her neck. Buffy cried out. "Faaaaaith!" Buffy tried to push the vampire off but he was too strong. Buffy knew this was it. This is how she would die. As the vampire drank her blood she closed her eyes as she felt herself slipping away. Faith hadn't noticed the attack as she had been fighting and eventually staking another three vampires. She then ran to Buffy's aid."

Bastard" she screamed jumping on top of the vampire and staking the vampire from behind. She fell on top of Buffy who was still. Her eyes were closed. "Buffy? Buffy" Faith shook the lifeless slayer.

Her eyes widened. Buffy didn't respond...


	3. Chapter 3

Faith was panicked. She shook Buffy once again. "Don't you dare die on me B, I need you! Fuck!" Buffy remained unconscious. Faith placed one arm under Buffy's head and the other under her legs and picked her up. She looked around frantically. She had to get out of this graveyard. The place must have crawling with more vampires, there had been five in the last ten minutes or so. Faith carefully ran as she held Buffy close to her. She didn't stop running until she finally saw street lights. "Thank god" she whispered as she saw Buffy's house.

She banged on the door impatiently. Willow answered. "Oh my god what happened is she ok?" Willow placed her hand on Buffy.

"She...a...there..." Faith couldn't speak. "She was bit I need to get her upstairs, get me the first aid kit Red and just let me handle this, it was my fault!" Willow didn't question Faith and made her way to the kitchen to get medical supplies as Faith carried Buffy upstairs, she kicked the bedroom door open and placed Buffy on the bed.

Suddenly Willow came rushing in. "Faith don't you think we should get her to hospital?" she asked passing the first aid box to Faith. Faith pulled it open and rummaged through it looking for bandages ignoring Willow. "Faith? Buffy could die. I'm gonna ring for an ambulance"

"No! Listen I can handle this...she's gonna be ok!" Just back off Willow I got this ok!" Faith replied. "If you wanna make yourself useful get me some warm water or better still alcohol.

"I don't think a drink is a good idea right now Faith!"

"Not for...for her cuts!" Faith was getting angry now.

"Oh right...yeah. Erm there should be some in the...be right back" Willow ran downstairs to fetch the alcohol as Faith gently wiped around the bite marks on Buffy's neck. She then ran her hand through Buffy's hair and gently kissed the blonde slayer on the head. "Please wake up B, you ain't dying on me...not today you hear me..." Faith felt tears run down her face. "I love you Buffy.

"You what?" Faith turned to see Willow and Xander standing at the bedroom door. "Oh erm ...I didn't see you guys there...I was just..." She stood up and grabbed the alcohol from Willow and poured it onto some cotton wool and gently wiped around the bite marks on Buffy's neck. She could feel both of their eyes burning into her. "Guys I said I can handle this ok" Faith spat.

Willow sat on the edge of the bed looking at Buffy with concern then turned to face Faith. "Do you honestly love Buffy? Like when you say love, are you say your in love..."

Faith slammed the alcohol on the bedside table making Willow jump. "Look if she wakes I'll call ok?"

Willow narrowed her eyes at Faith. "You do realise Buffy isn't...she is...well...she's not into..."

"Yeah Yeah I got it Red...can you just...I'll look after her". Faith turned to Buffy and placed her hand on hers. "If she doesn't wake...I...we will call an ambulance ok?"

"No Faith she needs a blood transfusion!" Xander shouted. "I have already called an ambulance. If she dies... I swear I'll...

"She isn't going to die!" Faith felt herself shaking as she spoke. "I said I could handle this!"

"Newsflash Faith your not a doctor! So why don't you back off and let us deal with this! She is our friend!" Xander pushed Faith out of the way and walked over to Buffy.

Faith turned to both Xander and Willow. "Fine. Whatever" Blue lights suddenly flashed from outside and sirens. The ambulance had arrived for Buffy. Faith realised that Willow must have called them the moment she had brought Buffy home. "I'm coming with" Faith said as she followed Xander and Willow as they carried Buffy. As they made their way outside, the paramedics ran up to Buffy and placed her into the ambulance.

Xander turned to Faith. "Me and Willow... will make sure she's fine. Just stay away Faith!" Xander warned the brunette.

"I don't think so she's my friend too, well she's more then that but..."

As Xander and Willow made their way into the ambulance, Xander shook his head at Faith. "Stay away Faith and this crush you think you have on Buffy...get over it!" With that the doors was slammed shut and the ambulance pulled away.

Faith stood still for a moment. She then lit a cigarette and finally allowed herself to cry. It had all been too much for one day. All she wanted was to hold Buffy. Feel her skin against hers. Her lips kissing hers. Faith threw the cigarette down and made her way back in the house. As she walked back in the house she cried even more. Seeing the pictures on the walls of Buffy, the sweet scent of Buffy in the air, one of Buffy's jackets hung up. Faith took the jacket and held it against her as she sat on the stairs and placed her head into her lap as she sobbed.

If anything happened to Buffy its all my fault she thought to herself and I couldn't live with that...


	4. Chapter 4

Hours had passed since Buffy had left in the ambulance and it was becoming light outside. Faith had fallen asleep on the stairs. The front door slammed waking her up. She looked up to see Xander and Willow. She wiped the mascara that had ran onto her cheeks. "Erm how is she?" Faith asked.

"She's awake" Xander replied.

Faith's face lit up and she smiled slightly. "But before you go running to her..."Xander sighed. "You do know Buffy isn't...well she s...Help me out Will?"

Willow rolled her eyes at Xander. "We know how you feel... about Buffy its been obvious for quite a while but we didn't realise that it was so...erm...anyway what we are trying to say is Buffy doesn't see you in the same way. She isn't a lesbian Faith and to be honest I didn't think you were...but then again I didn't think Kennedy was...but..."

Faith pouted and rolled her eyes as Willow rambled on. "Ok guys I get it ok. Buffy...off limits. Yeah yeah. Listen I'm beat...I'm gonna..." She pointed upstairs and made her way to the bedroom.

Xander and Willow watched her and both sighed. Willow turned to Xander "That's not a bad idea actually been a long night what you say we get some sleep too"

Xander was distracted with his own thoughts."You really think Faith might be...but she...with me...even though...then there was Robin...and I'm pretty sure...but then Faith..." He looked at Willow who looked pissed. "You were saying something about sleep?" Willow smiled and made her way upstairs. "Night Xander". Xander smiled back and slowly followed her upstairs retreating to his own room.

-Hours Later-

Faith tossed and turned as her mind raced with one thought. Buffy. The only person she had ever loved. The only person she could connect with. She smiled as she thought back to the night they had shared together. It was perfect. Everything Faith had ever imagined. Was it just a one time thing? Did Buffy really love her?

Faith suddenly bolted up in bed as she felt someone sitting on the edge. It was Buffy. Faith smiled slightly and reached out to touch her but the blonde slayer backed away. "Faith...I think we need to talk." Buffy turned to Faith and gritted her teeth as she felt a sharp pain in her neck from the bite.

Faith looked at Buffy concerned. "Shouldn't you be resting B? And how did you get back home? Did they let you out or did you walk? Are you ok?" Faith realised she was rambling.

Buffy smiled at Faith. "And I thought I was the only one that did that" she said looking into Faith's eyes. Them beautiful brown eyes again staring back at her. Buffy snapped out of it. "Erm yeah...we should talk." Faith reached out again to touch the older slayer and this time Buffy let her. Faith pulled her in to hug her and she gently kissed Buffy's cheek.

"I'm so sorry B...that vampire...I should have...I didn't mean to..."

Buffy pulled away from the hug and placed her hand on Faith's shoulder. "Hey it wasn't your fault and besides I'm ok. Being a slayer might be hard a times, but at least we heal quickly right?" Buffy ran her hand down Faith's soft skin and felt butterflies in her stomach as she touched the dark slayer. Faith smiled and placed her hand on Buffy's face and pulled her in to kiss her but she pulled away and moved from the bed. "I can't Faith...this me and you. This is what we need to talk about".

Faith crossed her arms and lay back on the bed. "Right..yeah" she replied.

Buffy looked at the dark slayer and smiled slightly. She was so beautiful. Buffy tried to speak but she couldn't look at Faith. She turned away and looked at the wall. "I remember what I said to you...last night...well the night before. I don't know why I said it but why does it have to be a big deal right? I mean we say I love you to a lot of people. Family, friends...but it doesn't mean that..."

Suddenly Buffy jumped as she felt Faith standing behind her. She turned around to face her. Faith moved in closer to Buffy and tilted her head slightly as Buffy spoke. "Faith...me and you it just cant...I mean we cant...cant we just forget this ever happened and move on?"

Faith looked hurt. "Move on? Buffy don't you think I have been trying to do that for years now? Just forget about how I feel towards you? I can't. I love you and I'm sorry but I cant help how I feel! I know you feel it too B I can see it in your eyes. I could see it the other night and I see it right now!" Faith moved closer to Buffy and ran her fingers through her blonde hair gently, her fingers gently touching the slayer's ear making her shudder.

Faith smiled as Buffy looked into her eyes. "Faith..." Buffy didn't get a chance to finish as Faith's lips met hers. Buffy didn't respond. Faith picked her up and pulled her legs around her. Buffy's mind flashed back to the other night. Her eyes widened as she looked down at Faith who had moved them both onto the bed. Faith pulled her head forward to kiss Buffy again. This time Buffy responded. She moaned slightly against the kiss. The sweet taste of cinnamon. The feel of Faith's tongue teasing against hers. The kiss was perfect. Faith was perfect but why did this feel so wrong?. Buffy pulled away but Faith pulled her back in and kissed her even harder. Buffy didn't respond to it. Faith pulled away and looked at the blonde slayer.

"What is it B?" Buffy tried to pull herself from Faith but the brunette slayer pulled her in and wrapped her arms tightly around her waist. "Faith don't...we need to stop this"

Faith sighed. "Why Buffy? You seemed to be enjoying it. Just like the other night" Faith smiled wickedly and gently bit down on Buffy's neck. Buffy suddenly flashed back to the night before. The vampire. The thinking Buffy punched Faith in the face and rolled off her. Faith held her cheek and looked at the slightly shaken up slayer. "Shit Buffy, I'm sorry I wasn't thinking I didn't mean to..."

Buffy put her hand up to Faith. "And that's your problem Faith you never do think, you just expect things to go your way. Well sorry but that's not how the world works ok. You may think you can what is it? Want, Take, Have? But in this case I'm drawing the line Faith!".

"What are getting so strung up about B?" Faith replied moving herself to the edge of the bed.

"This stops now ok Faith. I...I don't want this. It isn't right!"

Why? Because it's me is that it? Or is it because I'm not your usual type?" Faith lit a cigarette as she spoke.

"All of it! I dont know Faith but the other night..." She stopped talking and thought back to the other night. ~Her touch, her kisses, her skin~ Buffy shook off the thoughts once again. "The other night was a mistake...I feel disgusted with myself that I even..." She looked at the bed. Flashbacks again. ~Faith on top of her, kissing her skin, teasing her nipples with her tongue, her fingers inside of her~ "We are done Faith. Whatever you feel for me...I'm sorry but I don't feel it back" she lied to herself.

Faith grabbed her jacket and headed towards the door.

"Faith...please don't..."

The brunette slammed the door behind her and she was gone.

Buffy sighed. Why couldn't she give in and tell Faith how she really felt? She loved her. She wanted her. She needed her.

Buffy had to stop being in denial...


	5. Chapter 5

Faith slammed the front door and made her way into town looking for the nearest bar. She needed alcohol...anything to numb the pain. She was fed up of crying. These feelings. They weren't her. Buffy was right. She had to get over this.

"Excuse me, you got a light" Faith looked up to see a blonde woman holding a cigarette in her mouth. "Oh yeah sure" she said passing the lighter over. The girl lit the cigarette and smiled at Faith. "So you off into town?" she asked Faith.

"Er...yeah gonna try and find the nearest bar. Keep the lighter yeah?" Faith said as she walked off.

"Wait!" The girl ran over to Faith. "I was heading that way myself we could get a cab together"

"That's nice of you blondie but I'm looking to be alone tonight" Faith lit a cigarette and began walking ahead again. The girl handed Faith a bottle covered in a brown paper bag. Faith sniffed the top of it and looked at the girl.

"Its bourbon. You look like you could use some" The blonde girl looked just like Buffy, only she was smaller built and had shorter hair. Faith shrugged and threw back the drink. "So...I didn't catch your name?" the blonde girl said.

"Faith"

"Pretty...I'm Sarah"

Faith passed the bottle back to Sarah and smiled. "Well Sarah it was nice meeting you..."

"But you wanna be alone got you...well if you change your mind.." Sarah took out a pen and wrote on Faith's hand. "...this is where you will find me. Free entry and first three drinks are free"

Faith looked at her and nodded. "Yeah whatever" Faith passed the bourbon back to Sarah and made her way into town. Faith turned back around but the cute blonde had vanished.

After a good ten minute walk Faith was finally in town. She smiled as she saw a bar with a Jack Daniels Logo outside. "Score" she said to herself as she walked into the bar. It was quiet. In the corner there was a pool table were three guys were playing a game and talking amongst themselves and there was a couple sat at the bar who looked like they were having a disagreement. Faith chuckled to herself and sat on the other end of the bar.

"What's your poison?" the bar maid asked. Faith lit another cigarette and blew smoke into the air.

"JD straight" she replied. The barmaid turned to get her drink. "Actually..." Faith took out her wallet and pulled out fifty dollars. "...just until that runs out" The barmaid nodded taking the fifty dollars from Faith and poured her three J D's. Faith watched the three guys playing pool and laughed to herself as they were betting each other.

"Hundred dollars says you cant pot the black" one of them said.

"Make that two hundred" another replied.

"Nah five hundred" the third guy said. Who ever pots the black gets five hundred dollars"

"Deal!" All three guys said at the same time.

Faith threw back JD after JD watching the three men try and pot the black ball. After ten minutes she got bored. Throwing back her final JD, she walked over to the pool table and grabbed a pool cue. All three men watched her as she bend herself over the table, her vest top showed off her cleavage. She caught one of the guys looking. She winked at him and licked her lips as she did she potted the black ball. "See that wasn't so hard now was it?" Faith said as she stumbled backwards slightly.

"Who the fuck do you think you are?" one of the guys shouted at her.

"Faith, and you owe me five hundred dollars big boy" She purred.

All three guys laughed. "I don't think so sweetheart but if you suck my dick I'm sure we can come to an arrangement" the guy who had shouted at her replied. He walked over to the dark slayer and placed his hand on her ass and whispered in her ear. "I'll throw in another five hundred if you let me stick it up your..."

Faith span around and pushed the guy to the wall by the pool cue. "How's about this...you give me my five hundred dollars right now or I will stick this where the sun don't shine!" The guys two friends tried pulling Faith off but she was too quick and with one punch they were both knocked to the floor. Faith pulled out the guys wallet from his jeans and raised her eyebrow taking the five hundred. She then pushed the pool cue into his crotch and smiled. "Nice doing business" She then walked out of the bar as she heard the barmaid on the phone to the cops.

As Faith came out the bar she felt herself go dizzy. What was that in there? What had come over her? She suddenly noticed the writing on her hand from the blonde girl she had met earlier. Sarah. The writing read _CandyBar (next to the cinema) xx_. Faith shrugged and made her way there. As she walked down the street she thought back to moments ago. That wasn't her, that was how she used to be. Was her love for Buffy making her act out? What if Buffy had seen that? "She would never talk to me again" Faith said out loud.

"So you couldn't stay away from me huh?" a voice called out. Faith turned around. It was Sarah.

Faith smiled and shrugged. "Guess not" Sarah gestured Faith over to a small alley. Cautious at first Faith followed her. "So when do I get my free drinks?. The last lot is beginning to wear off" Faith said as she walked behind Sarah who led her to a back door into CandyBar.

"All good things come to those who wait" Sarah replied.

The bar was empty. Faith turned to Sarah. "I'm guessing you have just opened?" she said as he noticed how clean and new everything was.

Sarah nodded. "Doesn't really get busy until after six" Sarah jumped behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of bourbon passing it to Faith who accepted. Both of them sat at the bar.

"So let me get this straight...you tell me I can get my first three drinks for free and free entry...but really that meant...erm...free bottle of bourbon and...ok still confused"

Sarah smiled at the brunette slayer. "Yeah that's our offer usually, I didn't think you would come back until later on tonight but like I said guess you couldn't stay away but for you drinks are free all night and as for free entry...Sarah placed Faith's hand on her upper leg. "...I think you catch my drift here" she licked her lips as she spoke.

Faith threw back more bourbon and looked at the blonde girl. "I should...go" Faith jumped down from the bar. Sarah followed her as she made her way to the back door. Faith turned to the blonde girl. "Thanks for the drink yeah but..." Faith looked at the blonde for a moment. Faith hadn't noticed how hot she was until now. Maybe it was the booze. Faith threw more bourbon back and placed it on the side. She smiled wickedly at Sarah and pulled her in for a passionate kiss.

It felt so good. The feel of a woman again.

It felt like...like Buffy.


	6. Chapter 6

Buffy tried distracting herself for most of the day with cleaning but all she could think about was Faith. Where had she been for so long? Maybe she checked into a motel? Or maybe she had been attacked or kidnapped? Buffy's mind ran wild. As she folded the last of the laundry Willow came into the kitchen."Hey Buff how you feeling?"

"Better, thanks...just worried about Faith...I mean well not worried...concerned. She's been gone for hours and..." Buffy stopped for moment and rubbed her head.

"I'm sure she's fine, it's Faith were talking about, you know Mrs Five by Five. I bet she just needed to blow off some steam. She's probably in bed with some..."

Buffy widened her eyes at Willow. "You make her sound like she's a..."

"Whore?" Willow smiled.

"Willow! My god, what happened to that shy girl I once knew?" They both smiled.

Buffy was then distracted by what Willow had said. In bed with someone. For the first time in quite a few months Buffy was jealous. The last time she had felt like this was when she had found out Faith and Robin had slept together. Buffy couldn't understand these thoughts. She wanted Faith so badly.

"Buffy?" Willow shouted.

"What? Sorry I was miles away...I was just thinking.."

"About Faith?" Willow looked hurt as she said the brunette slayers name. Buffy knew Willow had never liked Faith and hated how close they were often were. "I was just saying me and Xander are gonna go to the store. Do you need anything?"

"Nah I think I'm good" she replied. The only thing Buffy wanted was Faith.

"Ok well call if you need us" Willow said as she and Xander headed out.

Buffy looked at the washing up and sighed. At least it would keep her mind off Faith. As she washed up the dishes in the sink, she slowly zoned out.

~Kisses on her neck~Faith's tongue teasing down her body~The warm sensation of her body against Faith's~The feel of Faith's touch~Her fingers inside~Her tongue inside~

Buffy let out a small moan as she thought back to the other night. She snapped back to reality. She stared at the washing up that she hadn't even started and decided to leave the house. She had to find Faith. She had to finally tell her. She had to stop making excuses as to why she couldn't be with her.

Hours had passed since Faith and Sarah had kissed. They were now in Sarah's bed in the flat located upstairs in the bar.

"Oh fuck yes right there ahhhhh" Sarah moaned as she reached climax. She looked down to see Faith wiping her mouth. "Fuck that was...amazing" the blonde said as she tried getting her breath back. Faith smiled slightly. She lit a cigarette and lay next to Sarah. Both of them had drank two bottles of bourbon between them and sniffed coke in the last few hours. Faith hadn't touched drugs for years and she was beginning to regret the last two hours. She didn't feel any better. She didn't want this blonde. She wanted her blonde. Her Buffy.

Sarah started getting dressed and both of them remained quiet for a while. Eventually Sarah spoke. "I have to open up soon Faith, if you wanna stick around your welcome to. I did promise you free drinks" She bent down to kiss her but the brunette turned away.

"Sure whatever".

Sarah looked at her confused. "Did I do something wrong?"

Faith looked up at her. "No...no its me...I'm just not myself...it's confusing"

"You wanna talk about it?" Sarah asked.

"No...I think I should...erm...go" Faith bolted up from the bed and began dressing herself in a hurry.

Sarah watched the brunette slayer as she made her way around the room and eventually to the bedroom door. "What that's it?"Sarah was pissed.

Faith rolled her eyes and scoffed at the blonde. "Yeah I gotta go!"

"Oh I don't think so..." Sarah pushed her hand on the bedroom door stopping Faith from leaving. "You cant just...look I don't know what your beef is but just don't rush off like this...at least stay for a few hours. Please?"

Faith sighed. "Fine I'll be downstairs." Faith made her way downstairs and went straight to the bar. Pouring herself a suicide shot which was a mixture of JD and Absinthe. She gagged slightly, shrugged and poured another. Shortly after Sarah came downstairs to open up the bar.

Buffy wandered around town checking all the bars she knew Faith and her have been and the ones she knew only Faith would go into. She entered a bar with a Jack Daniels sign the same one Faith had gone in hours before. It had got busier since.

Buffy walked over to the barmaid. "What's your poison darling?" the bar maid asked her

"Oh, I...just wanted some information. You haven't by any chance seen a brunette girl around here...erm leather pants, dark lipstick, pale skin, Boston accent, very attractive..."

"Look sunshine you think I can run this bar from fresh air? You want some information? You pay the price? Now what can I get you?" The barmaid snapped.

Buffy rolled her eyes. "Fine here" she threw the barmaid twenty dollars. "Please its important I find her I'm worried about her"

"I don't think you need to worry about her sunshine...the woman looks like she knows how to take care of herself. No doubt in that I can tell you. Your little Boston whore was in here a few hours ago causing fights." The barmaid informed Buffy.

"Fights? No? Not Faith you must have the wrong girl" Buffy said frantically.

"Faith you say? Yeah that's what she said her name was. Them three guys over there..." She pointed to the three guys who were playing pool hours earlier. "...yeah they are short of five hundred dollars cause your Boston tramp who you think so fondly off threatened them for money. If you don't believe me, ask them yourself". With that the barmaid turned back to her duties.

Buffy looked at the three guys the barmaid had pointed out. Could Faith have really attacked them for money? That wasn't who she was anymore! Buffy decided not to stay and talk. She wanted to find Faith. Now she was more worried.

Had Faith gone off the rails? Again?


	7. Chapter 7

CandyBar was beginning to get more busy now. Faith remained sat at the bar drinking JD. The room was beginning to spin around her. She made her way outside for a cigarette hoping the fresh air would help. As she smoked her cigarette she heard Sarah's voice."Hey I think you need to get yourself home and sober up" Faith ignored her and carried on smoking her cigarette. "Faith...I'm serious look at the state of you!"

Faith looked up at Sarah but she was now Buffy in her imagination. The cocaine she had snorted was beginning to mess up her head. "I love you Buffy" Faith slurred. Faith pulled Sarah in for a kiss but she pulled away.

"Who the fuck is Buffy?"

"I am!" came a familiar voice. Faith turned around to see Buffy staring at her in shock. Sarah looked at the blonde slayer and back at Faith.

"Whatever Faith" Sarah looked at Buffy. "Could you please get her home erm Buffy was it?" Sarah asked. Buffy nodded and put her hand out to Faith. Faith took it. As they walked around the corner. Buffy pushed Faith against a wall.

"I was wondering when you were gonna get rough" Faith smiled.

"What the hell are you playing at Faith? You smell of booze and god knows what else. I hear that your starting fights in bars, taking money from people..."

Faith laughed to herself. "Fucking random women? You...forgot...that one B" Faith slurred.

Buffy looked at the brunette slayer with disgust but also hurt. "Your disgusting you know that, I should just leave you here and make you walk home!"

"Then why don't you B? Is it cause you wanna save the day...yet again? Whilst I'm the one who..." Faith looked down realising what she had done in the last few hours. She felt sick. How could she have lost her head so much over over one person? Why was she blaming Buffy? It was her fault. She had lost control. Faith began to sob. Buffy swallowed hard and pulled her in and held her.

"Look I'm gonna call a cab and were gonna get you home? Faith?"

"Why you doing this?" Faith said through her tears. "Because I ..care about you" Fuck why couldn't she just say it. She thought Faith hadn't noticed. Faith placed her hand on Buffy's cheek.

"Buffy...just say it please?" She pressed her lips against the blonde slayer but Buffy pulled away.

"Damn it Faith you need to sober up!" Buffy took out her cellphone and rang for a cab. They were back home within minutes. Buffy paid the driver and helped Faith into the house. As soon as they arrived home Buffy sat Faith down in the kitchen and made a pot of coffee. Buffy remained silent as she poured out two cups passing Faith one. Faith looked at Buffy who knew what was coming.

"Don't even begin by saying your sorry. I don't wanna hear it. I get blowing off steam Faith but you attacked innocent people, stole money, then I find you drugged and intoxicated with...some random girl who was that?" Buffy felt tears in her eyes. Faith tried to speak but she didn't know what she could say, anything she may say would only make matters worse."You know what it doesn't even matter. I get you were upset, angry or whatever but you have to learn to control that but Faith you over stepped the mark today!" Faith sipped her coffee and remained quiet."I thought I had lost you today Faith. Like I did years ago. I really thought..." Buffy sipped her coffee and turned away from Faith hiding her tears. Faith stood up and walked over to the blonde slayer placing her arms around her.

"I never wanted to go that far...I didn't want...Buffy...please don't hate me. I don't think I can deal with that again" Faith was referring to the past when she had gone to the dark side.

"Again? Faith I never hated you. I was angry with you but I never said I hated you" Buffy turned to face Faith. Her lips were so close to hers. Buffy got lost yet again in her eyes. "Faith...we all make mistakes, sometimes good and sometimes not so good but that's makes us human". Buffy placed her hand on the brunettes cheek and smiled into them beautiful brown eyes. "My mistake was not telling you that... I...well not admitting that...I knew it was always there...I was just lying to myself...I love you Faith" Faith's swallowed hard and her eyes widened. "Even after what you've done today...I love you...I always have but since we...you know slept together, its more clear then ever." Buffy pulled Faith in closer and kissed her gently. Faith smiled against the kiss.

She finally had her girl. Her Buffy.


End file.
